The Son of Michael Myers
by KenSNJ
Summary: A story centered on Josh Myers, the now teenage son of Michael Myers as he sees the side of the Imperial Remnant that is often unseen including a newly promoted General.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing except a few characters and the plot.**

 **I thought it might be interesting to write a story centered on Michael's now teenaged son Josh who has been mentioned or appeared a couple of times in some of my other fics.**

 **TROOPS: NEW YORK**

 **The Son of Michael Myers**

 **NEW YORK, NEW YORK**

On the outside, Josh Myers looked like any normal 13 year old. However, on the inside were powers that he was only now beginning to understand. The Lightsaber hanging from his belt and sticking out from under his shirt was an example of this. He walked past a helmetless Imperial Stormtrooper at the office where his parents and most of New York's Jedi worked and into his dad's office. His dad, Michael looked up at him.

"Didn't Obi-Wan tell you to lay off the coffee?" Josh asked.

"Didn't Obi-Wan also tell Anakin not to get Padme pregnant again because of what happened the last time he did?" Michael replied.

"Except that Obi-Wan knows about if from the start this time as opposed to finding out about me being the father after all hell has broken loose and there's no Sith Lord around to play with people's emotions." Anakin Skywalker said as he joined them.

"True. An evil curse that turns someone into a monster was the last thing I wanted for my sixth birthday." Josh said. Michael had been worried the event being referred to would cause Josh to become an emotional wreck as he got older, but it had never happened. A side effect of moving the family from Haddonfield to New York.

"Did you want something Anakin?" Michael changed the subject.

"Richie and Erica hauled in a suspect in that nightclub incident where the perp shot up the place with a blaster and killed three people." Josh took this as his cue to leave and went to visit Tevin Felth who was in his new office doing some of the redundant paperwork the Empire seemed to require for basic supplies.

"This is the form to get the forms that enable us to be able to order more forms." The company clerk who everyone called Radar was explaining as Tevin went over the forms.

"Then why does this form say ice cream?" Tevin asked.

"I have to change that to what we really need. This form you initial here and then sign here so you can merely initial these forms instead of signing them and I'll fill in all thee blanks later." Tevin instantly grabbed the papers and put them in the paper shredder near his desk.

"Do I look like Rodgers? You may have been able to trick him into signing an ice cream requisition form and then putting his name on blank forms, but you're not going to trick me. I'm surprised he even knew what he was putting his name on half the time. Now, everything is on the computer like it's supposed to be and if you want ice cream there's a Duane Reade on the other side of Worth Street and any number of other places around here so that you and whoever else wanted it can buy ice cream. Besides, the flavor selection is better in a store then Imperial Supply." Radar instantly produced another form earning what Josh knew was meant to be Tevin's version of Michael's death stare.

"Petty Cash release."

"Fine, here's $20 to get a couple of cartons. Come in Josh." Tevin said as he filled out and signed the form.

"You don't quite have The Stare down yet. Radar wasn't shaking in his boots."

"I didn't expect him to." The phone on the desk rang.

"Yes? No, General Rodgers transferred to Seattle. Check your computer database. I sent them in on the computer. Would you like to be transferred from your cushy computer job to infantry training for whenever The Empire decides to act against the advice being given from Uptown and invade North Korea? Thank you. Yes, I finally took the promotion because no one else wanted to deal with Myers, Houston, or the Skywalkers. I met what was Vader's Rule Number One for promotion, be competent at my job. Now if you like, I can ask Lord Vader to go down there and talk to you. Goodbye." Tevin hung up sure that he had scared whoever was on the other end of the line into doing their job one way or another. Josh understood that threatening a visit from Anakin who the entire galaxy now knew was Darth Vader thanks to some spiteful people leaking it to the media or transfer to a combat unit were the two biggest ways to change an Imperial Officer's tone real quick.

"So, how's school going?" Tevin asked as he typed noting that he hadn't asked Josh or talked to Michael about the subject in a while.

"It's okay. I start High School in the fall. They weren't happy about me carrying a weapon and a cell phone, but Dad mentioned Master Khayman to them and they dropped the issue. From what I've been told, I can't picture Master Khayman threatening to stick an Imperial garrison inside a New York City school, but Dad said they gave in on everything after he reminded them that Jake and Jeremy went to that school and he wasn't as nice as their dad was."

"Not that some people around would here noticed a difference between Bryan and Michael. The back of Max's head for one. Many people who use political influence to try and push us around for others. Bryan once locked up an aide to the Deputy Mayor who got swept up in a raid on a massage parlor carried out by the 501 simply for threatening him with a nasty phone call from the Deputy Mayor. One count of misdemeanor patronizing a prostitute and one count of felony coercion for the attempted intimidation of a Federal Agent. He was lucky his name wasn't given to the press. The Ledger loves to print these kinds of stories."

"I saw the story where Dad gave them the name of every city council member who had unpaid parking tickets issued by the troops and how much they owed. He also gave a list of those who had a drug or prostitution related arrest to The Ledger. He did the same thing to the Haddonfiel City Council as a parting gift. According to my Aunt Laurie, the Haddonfield Herald has enough material from dad's files to change the political landscape there." Tevin was stunned by how much Josh knew about things he shouldn't.

"I don't even want to know what's in the Imperial files on that town. Outside of what I know already from my visit there when those terrorists set off an oil barrel bomb and tried to kill Michael. Besides, it's probably just Morlandt's updates to your dad's files on the city council's dirty laundry." Josh eyed the folder on Tevin's desk.

"What part of Klinger's family is supposedly dying or pregnant today? I believe Joe's favorite was when he claimed that half of the family was dying and the other half was pregnant."

"Today, it was a pair of made-up brothers who supposedly died in a deep mining accident on Kessel. I had that one busted because the Empire knows that Lando Calrissian uses droids for deep mining to avoid accidents like that. You missed the day Klinger walked around Lower Manhattan pretending to be a Tusken Raider leading an invisible bantha herd. It's bad enough New York City has been invaded by Jawas that can strip a car of anything usable or sellable within a minute. We don't need the Tusken Raiders here randomly shooting at or attacking people. There's enough muggers on the streets as it is." Galen Marek walked in with some papers.

"Jawas tried to strip a charter bus parked near Pike Street. First time they've hit a bus. Usually they hit high-end cars."

"What do they do with the stuff they steal that's worth reselling?" Josh asked.

"Some of it gets resold in the city via a roaming Jawa market, some of it is sold to people like Jack Pierson who then resell it further, and most of the droids they round up are shipped off to Tatooine and resold to unsuspecting moisture farmers." Tevin explained.

* * *

Josh decided to go pester someone else after Tevin became busy and irritated to the point of threatening to send some officer that showed up complaining about the missing paperwork that Tevin had filed via the computer off to conbat training, but stopped when he heard a banging coming from inside a closet. He opened the door to find C-3PO inside.

"Master Joshua. Thank goodness you found me. Some Stormtroopers thought it would be funny to lock me in here."

"The door was never locked. You never know when some clumsy oaf is going to make a mess here. I think you should report to Droid Maintenance and have your systems checked." Teasing the protocol droid was a favorite pasttime of many at the office.

"I beg your pardon. My systems are in prime operating condition. A full system check was done on me only a few months ago."

"Well you have been acting strange since Max tried tinkering with you last month. Maybe he crossed a few wires somewhere." This caused 3PO to do the droid equivalent of huffing and storming off. Josh continued on his way and found things that even had him confused including a Major stealing clothes out of the Women's Locker Room, a pair of Stormtroopers playing Office Golf, and a poker game being played by a handful of officers and enlisted men. Josh decided it would be fun to crash the game.

"Five seconds before SECDEF's kid sees you playing for stakes and gets someone to actually bust you." The players all hid their money quickly. Michael had a very low tolerance for people goofing off on duty and even less for people playing cards on duty. To them being caught by Michael was worse then being caught by Anakin or Admiral Piett. It was a wonder to Josh that a poker game could even be organized in the building with Anakin usually roaming the corridors.

"Kid, you're not funny." One of the officers said.

"But who would be laughing if say, Darth Vader had walked in here?"

"I doubt he would care." Another officer said.

"He might, especially if we were all on the Executor as opposed to here in New York." Anakin said from behind Josh. This caused the two officers to jump.

"Lord Vader, we weren't expecting you."

"We weren't playing for stakes really. The stakes poker game is down at Bennett. This is more of an educational thing. It seems Atlantic City has become a popular destination for enlisted personnel on leave." Anakin narrowed his eyes and made a mental note to inform both Tevin and Firmus about the card games since he didn't believe either officer at all. He was also well aware of the card game that Joe had hosted in the office disguised as a monthly conference between Imperial and local officials to discuss activity reports. Michael knew about that game too, but he allowed it to continue since it kept whatever tensions still existed between the Empire and the NYPD to a minimum and he at times sat in on that game as a stress relief tool or to exchange high-level information with the NYPD's top brass. He left the room with Josh behind him.

"Does Tevin know you're roaming the corridors here?"

"I'm sure 3PO told him after I found him in a custodial closet and let him out. I was going to the lab next, but thought it would be funny to scare them first. Dad hates people playing cards on duty." Anakin sighed.

"Have you been spending tiime around Jake again?"

"Have you been spending time making online dating profiles for Obi-Wan?" Anakin huffed at the accusation.

"How did you hear that piece of gossip as if I don't already know?"

"Would it surprise you that it was from Galen?" Anakin was mixed about that. On one hand, it meant that Galen was starting to come out of his shell. On the other hand, it meant that he needed to have a serious talk with Galen about spreading gossip. They soon reached the lab where Josh's mom Kelsey worked.

"Mom, there's Jawas in the building again." Josh called out. They were instead greeted by R2-D2 who was beeping about something.

"She went to get a refill on that stuff she always drinks." Anakin translated.

"Break Room." Josh said and ran off nearly crashing into a pair of Stormtroopers. R2 beeped something at Anakin about Josh.

"What do you expect? His parents practically mainline caffeine. One has to wonder how they deal with an active, Force-enhanced teenager when they come down from their daily caffeine high." R2 beeped another question at Anakin.

"Don't ask Obi-Wan. He's very busy. People are making online dating profiles for him around here. Don't tell me, you made one for him too." R2 beeped in a way resembling a chuckle as Josh and Kelsey Myers appeared each holding a Caf-Pow causing Anakin to facepalm and momentarily forget about the illegal poker game and Obi-Wan's many online dating profiles.

"You really allow him to consume that much caffeine? Meanwhile, that was Obi-Wan's voice that just came from somewhere in the building and flew out of my mouth."

"It doesn't hurt him, Obi-Wan." Kelsey said sarcastically as one of the lab machines made a loud alarm sound that startled Anakin.

"Good timing." Josh went to play a game on the computer in the office while Kelsey checked the readout on the mass spectrometer.

"This can't be right. I hereby challenge you to a duel." Josh looked up.

"Mom, you are aware you just challenged the mass spec to a duel?"

"Well, it spit out a chemical composition that I'm not familiar with! Are the machines here becoming as crazy as the people here are? I mean we have an entire squad that seems to be dedicated to managing Obi-Wan's love life." Michael walked in.

"Dad, mom's rambling again."

"I know. Did you really challenge your machine to a duel?" Kelsey looked at Josh.

'What makes you think I told dad about that? He tends to know these things. I mean, he knew when Max decorated Darnell's car before Darnell stormed into the squadroom and started screaming at Max. I'm still waiting to hear when Max is going to be on the Maury Show." Michael facepalmed.

"What did you find?"

"Serial number on the blaster in the dumpster from the nightclub shooting traces back to a trooper that was killed back in 2002. I'm guessing there's a black market for Imperial weapons taken off of dead Stormtroopers from the war."

"Who do we go after first? Jawas or pawnbrokers?" Michael directed that question at Josh.

"Violent street gangs that are known for doing this kind of stuff. Jawas tend to get anything that's hot and has a high resale value off the planet. Most pawnbrokers in this city won't deal with anything from the Empire after some Jedi Master put the fear of God in them. The Black Market, however tends to be a good place to get a weapon wth no questions asked and no background check if you have the right amount of cash. Because cash is always preferred for criminal sales since you can't trace it. Which means you go after people with priors for illegal weapons sales." Josh said.

"You heard him. Kenobi's love life or lack of one can wait and I'll tell Felth about that illegal stakes card game in the building." Michael said to Anakin who was stil in the lab. Josh's raised eyebrow didn't escape notice and Michael gave Anakin a head-slap before leaving.

"That was for wasting resources on Kenobi's love life."

* * *

Later that day, Josh had gone out to get something to eat. He decided to visit Wanda and Padme and eat there in case someone decided to help themselves to his food which often happened when food was left sitting on desks or counters.

"Do I smell a southwest barbecue chicken on grilled sourdough with a side of shoestring fries?" Came the voice of Padme Skywalker. Josh only knew that Padme was pregnant, but not how far along she was.

"Can I have one bite?" Josh asked.

"It's not healthy for the baby." Padme said and took the bag of food.

"Freeze!" At that moment Wanda Houston appeared and sniffed the air.

"Give that southwest barbecue chicken on grilled sourdough with a side of shoestring fries back to the boy." Padme gave the bag back to Josh.

"You just ate an entire extra-large pizza, four candy bars, and an entire delivery of chinese food for the investment firm two floors down which they just complained about. I think you've eaten enough for now." Padme eyed the sandwich in Wanda's hand.

"Is that dried cotto salami with swiss cheese and a sweet honey mustard on a kaiser roll?" Josh looked at Padme confused as a delivery man appeared.

"Delivery for Skywalker. Three pizzas." Padme paid for and took the pizzas while Josh absent-mindedly shoved fries in his mouth and Wanda looked like she was about to go off on the next thing or person that dared to disturb her. Josh decided to head back to Michael's office before he saw some poor delivery man receive a dose of Wanda's rage. He finished his food during the walk and hoped that Max wasn't being too annoying.


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing except a few characters and the plot.**

 **I thought it might be interesting to write a story centered on Michael's now teenaged son Josh who has been mentioned or appeared a couple of times in some of my other fics.**

 **TROOPS: NEW YORK**

 **The Son of Michael Myers**

 **NEW YORK, NEW YORK**

Josh found himself back in his dad's office while Michael read off what was supposed to be another one of his nasty e-mails to somebody who had obstructed one of his investigations.

"I do not enjoy having ass-kissing morons like yourself obstruct investigations. I'm sure Agents Lavi and Walertin exercised great restraint in not dragging you out of your office in handcuffs. I however, would have arrested you on the spot for obstructing a federal investigation and made you sit in a cell wearing your $50,000 suit with a pair of gangbangers that were hauled in for some sort of violent crime and while the guards were busy I'm sure nature would have taken its course and your suit would have been worth nothing. So I insist that you appear at the SCS Office tomorrow morning at 9AM for questioning by my agents or I will be obtaining arrest and search warrants for you, your home, your office, and your cars of which I include your stretch limo as well as orders to freeze your bank accounts. And yes, I do mean the one you have hidden in a foreign country as well as the one you put your legal earnings in. By the way, are your tax returns accurate and up to date because I'm sure the IRS would love having the FBI pursue a tax cheat for them."

"Dad, that was tame by the standards of nasty e-mails in this family." Josh said.

"It may seem that way to you. But, I just threatened to ruin a man's life and he has no idea that Lavi is really on Mossad's payroll. This guy was on Eli David's list of dirtbags and given what I know about Eli David, that says a lot."

"So, that's the Standard Myers Family Nasty E-mail then?" Michael nodded and then sniffed the air causing Josh to do the same.

"Smells like they're cooking here again. Something with bananas and fruit."

"Grab it before Padme does. Provided Wanda hasn't had her put under house arrest for stealing food from civilians." Michael went to get some food while Josh took over Radar's workstation near the elevator which dinged as he began to click around Radar's personal files. Padme came off the elevator.

"Do I smell banana fritters with fresh fruit compote?" She asked.

"I think my dad took the last of it."

"Tell them to make me some." The elevator dinged again, this time Anakin came off of it with a group of 501st Stormtroopers and a man who was beaten and handcuffed.

"Let me tell you something. You and your collection of weapons are not the voices of this city or any neighborhood within it. Fives, I want you to book that piece of sewer sludge for attempted murder, discharging a firearm in a dangerous manner within the city limits, felonious assault, disturbing the peace, resisting arrest, and think up some more things so his bail is set so high that he can't even afford a bond." He turned to Padme.

"Ani, didn't we talk about you being aggressive with people?"

"He threw the first punch and I was being calm with him. He's still alive. Now you angel, you need to stay off your feet until the baby is born."

"She also needs to stay out of other people's kitchens." Josh chimed in.

"Hpw much have you eaten today?" Anakin asked.

"Four pizzas, two large bags of candy, and a chinese delivery she stole from some company that the Executive Branch shares their building with. She came here looking for banana fritters and tried to steal food from me and Wanda earlier." Josh said.

"Do I have to get a lock for the kitchen at home?"

"I remember when Dad tried doing that here. It ended in an incident involving Sylvia, Klinger who was trying to eat his way out of the military, and a firearm discharge in the kitchen because dad locked up Sylvia's so-called heart medicine and Klinger's salamis." Admiral Piett came off the elevator.

"Admiral Piett. Does that bag contain a pastrami on rye with provolone cheese and a tangy Russian dressing with a kosher pickle and a side of seasoned crinkle-cut fries?" Anakin was annoyed.

"Padme, I'll find you a buffet to clean out after I finish dealing with that knothead who thinks his guns speak for the city." Anakin left along with Piett while Padme followed them and tried to make a grab for Piett's food, but failed as Anakin took her hand. Josh went into the minifridge and took out a soda thankful Radar doesn't leave food laying around his station.

* * *

After Radar returned from sorting out a problem with Supply, Josh decided to hang out in Tevin's office again. This time, Tevin was reviewing some files on the Motor Pool. Josh looked at the papers.

"Some of these cars are older then me." He said.

"They don't want to buy new vehicles for surface operations until the old ones fall apart. My luck is that the last car on the active sheet that's older then The Khaymans is actually retired because Klinger tried to make a picnic out of it. Plus, Joe told me that it had bad spark plugs and a bad wiper."

"Isn't that the one with the squeaky seats?"

"One of them. The other one I know of was the one that Radar had shipped off planet piece by piece before Joe found that emulating the command style of German officers during the Second World War kept most of the hijinks around here down to a minimum. That and B.J. had taken up your dad's favorite method of correcting childishness."

"Dad got it from Grandpa who got it from Agent Gibbs who got it from someone."

"That would be Mike Franks. His interrogation methods nearly drove Ryan to move out of here. I drew the line with Franks at waterboarding, using a janitor's closet as an interrogation room where he would beat people with a phone book, and using a suspected child abuser as an ashtray." An officer appeared in the doorway.

"Sir, your wife ordered me to tell you to get your behind over to MTAC before she makes you sleep on the couch for a month."

"Who really runs this place now? You, Kelly, Dad, Radar, Piett, or Anakin? Josh asked before busting out in laughter. Tevin gave both Josh and the officer a glare.

"I have the senority by about three months. Retroactive to the day General Veers declared me a traitor. Yet look at who was eventually executed by the Great State of New York. Go bother the 501st. Mrs. Mackey is in the building with her lasagna again and that's your dinner."

* * *

"Alexander Daniel Mackey, you eat your dinner now!" Those were the only words needed to sent a number of Stormtroopers running in many different directions. Josh had found the rooms used by the 501st Legion's Stormtroopers. He decided to walk into the common room.

"Hello, Joshua. Care for some dinner?" Mrs. Mackey asked him.

"Tevin sent me here for dinner. He said these guys don't eat like they're supposed to."

"Ever since Master Skywalker showed up someone has been pushing this unit to exceed performance expectations and not giving us time to eat." Alex Mackey said between bites.

"Anthony Jordan Rivers, you come here right now!" The door to the 501st's common room quickly opened and closed followed by the sound of Stormtrooper armor running down a hallway as A.J. left his office to find out what was going on.

"Are you working these men to the point of starvation?"

"They have nutritional bars." He replied.

"Which are the same things I heard prisoners are fed because it's easier for Colonel Korek to distribute then real food. You guys should eat more, This is good stuff. How many Stormtrooper units actually get home-cooked meals?" Josh added. This caused Mrs. Mackey to remove her shoe and smack A.J. on the head with it.

"You feed these men prison food?" She asked.

"Josh, who sent you here as if I didn't know already? It's the only thing they can eat in the trucks. Some of these men have horrible table manners as it is and model their living quarters after the subway. Right, Fives who has an unauthorized ear piercing?" A.J. called out the nearest trooper that stopped to take a plate of food.

"I can't help living with slobs. As for my ear, it's not like some Stormtroopers who have dreadlocks that stick out of the back of their helmets. That's not regulation and don't get me going on Klinger."

"The Motor Pool still hasn't removed the squad car he ate parts off of from the books. Even though parts for a 1992 Chevy Caprice are so hard to find. They also haven't removed the car that was shipped out of the city in pieces by Radar years ago." Josh said as Fives disposed of his trash and left the room with his helmet tucked under his arm followed by Josh who decided to go bother Obi-Wan Kenobi for a change.

* * *

Josh found Obi-Wan Kenobi outside on the Plaza meditating. Anakin had said Obi-Wan could meditate anywhere regardless of what was going on around him and it was certainly true as he was surrounded by a group of tourists taking photos like they always did as well as Corporal Klinger who was trying to sell what were clearly bootleg DVDs and not having much success at it with Erica Rex nearby doing her Jedi training with a remote under the watchful gaze of Galen Marek. Josh chose to annoy Klinger since he knew the Corporal was ordered to stop the unlicensed pop-up curbside business ventures by General Rodgers, but figured that the order was rescinded when command passed to Tevin.

"How's business? Isn't Sully still in the theaters? Bit of juicy office gossip, but those two saw it last week." Josh pointed at Erica and Galen.

"Colonel Walertin told everybody until Admiral Piett told him to stop. Radar's running a betting pool on how long it takes for them to finally get together. Now are you here to buy something? If not, I have to ask you to move." Josh walked over to where Obi-Wan was as Admiral Piett and a pair of Stormtroopers appeared to shut down Klinger's latest get rich quick scheme.

"Hello, Joshua. I see Klinger's latest scheme has failed."

"Maybe Tevin will finally find out what warehouse those DVDs are coming out of and have it raided. He was selling Sully and Max told almost everyone that Galen and Erica went to see it last week."

"I've heard about the latest office betting pool regarding those two. I would think General Felth would have ordered that stopped."

"If they're not in an official relationship by the end of the week. Tevin loses his $10. Mom bet for the end of November, and Anakin bet Christmas." Obi-Wan sighed. The last time Radar had done an office betting pool, Anakin had left an IOU for $100 in Obi-Wan's name. Naturally, when Radar came to collect. Obi-Wan had no idea what was going on, but Piett had filled him in on Anakin's scheme and Joe had told Anakin that even Darth Vader could himself court-martialed, shot, and sent to the Russian Front for forgery and dishonorable failure to pay a debt.

"Of course with Tevin in charge, who knows what will happen around here." Josh said having read Obi-Wan's thoughts through The Force.

"I really wish you would stop doing that."

"Dad and others really wish you would stop attracting tourists to the plaza."

"They were here before me." Obi-Wan protested.

"True. Jake said Klinger's been doing pop-up shops out here for years. I believe his last one involved selling swimwear or handbags."


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing except a few characters and the plot.**

 **I thought it might be interesting to write a story centered on Michael's now teenaged son Josh who has been mentioned or appeared a couple of times in some of my other fics.**

 **TROOPS: NEW YORK**

 **The Son of Michael Myers**

 **NEW YORK, NEW YORK**

* * *

 **AFTER HALLOWEEN 2016**

Josh had celebrated his 14th Birthday with family and friends. Michael had been les then amused with some of the ideas that were mentioned for gifts. Indeed, Michael had given Max a head-slap for suggesting as a gift one of the DVDs that Klinger often tried to sell on the Plaza until Admiral Piett ordered the pop-up shop removed. The Felths had bought Josh a new BMX bike and dinner for everyone. The cake was brought by Obi-Wan although Anakin had paid for it, they kept it at Obi-Wan's place for fear that Padme would eat the entire thing within a day.

"I hear that Mom may have won the bet." Josh said one night when the workload allowed them to eat at home as opposed to ordering take-out delivered to the office.

"Anakin or Radar?" Michael asked.

"Max walked-in on Galen talking to Tevin about Erica when he was trying to verify that Klinger's aunt was pregnant."

"And naturally Walertin decided to tell everyone what he heard."

"You know he can't keep his trap shut about anything. I snap at him, he tells people it's that time of the month for me. At least Galen didn't go to Anakin for advice. Anakin stole Christmas from me." Kelsey said.

"You do realize that the money gets split between Marek and Rex." Josh said causing Kelsey to shoot Michael a glare.

"It's a rule that was put in place before we came here. You make a bet on someone, they collect. Which is how Khayman took Walertin for a couple of thousand."

"And how Max keeps losing money to Anakin and Obi-Wan. Max makes Darnell pay him $50 every time Obi-Wan says Cato Neimoidia doesn't count to Anakin who makes Max pay them $50 each."

* * *

Kelsey had indeed won the bet on Galen and Erica, but never saw the money as Josh had told Radar to give it to the couple citing the 'place a bet on someone, they collect' rule which also resulted in the clerk losing out on his cut as a bookmaker after Josh threatened to tell Tevin that Radar was engaging in semi-legal activities for profit. Josh had also taken a phone call from his aunt Laurie and neglected to tell Michael that she was coming to New York until the day she was due to arrive. Michael had wanted to send Josh to meet Laurie at the airport, but decided to go with him since Laurie was making the trip.

"Is that her flight?" Michael asked as an arriving flight from Chicago was announced.

"That's it." Josh replied. Michael observed a pair of Stormtroopers dealing with a man who was upset about being selected for a secondary security screening. Leaving Josh to wait for Laurie, Michael went over to see what the problem was.

"Problem, Corporal?"

"Computer selected him for a random. He's being loud about it." The trooper replied.

"I'm gonna miss my flight."

"Where are you going?" Michael asked the man.

"Miami. As if it's any of your business." Michael smirked and flashed his badge at the man.

"You're causing a scene at an airport. I came here to meet my sister's flight, but you got loud and that caught my attention. Now, you go with them to a side room or you go to jail for disorderly condict." The man decided to take a third option and ran off pushing through people with Michael and the Stormtroopers in pursuit. The man looked back to see how far behind him Michael and the troopers were and crashed into a passenger coming off the arriving flight from Chicago sending both of them to the floor. Michael and the Stormtroopers soon caught up to them.

"I was told you never seem to stop working." Laurie Strode said as Michael helped her up.

"He was making a scene about secondary security screenings then decided to make a break for it." The troopers pulled the man up. Michael grabbed the man's carry-on and went through it.

"Computer didn't like that this was your sixth round-trip this month. Computer also didn't like the switchlade in the carry-on which explains why Stormtroopers were called to do the secondary screening. Adding all of this together means you are under arrest for attempting to carry a weapon onto an airplane among other things. Take him away." Michael handed the man's bag to a Port Authority police officer while the Stormtroopers cuffed and searched the man before they left.

"Back in Haddonfield, that would have been a trip to the basement and a lost booking sheet."

"Speaking of which. everyone back in Haddonfield who still likes you there says hi. They cut my budget by 20% and then increased it by 30% after Curtis told them that political revenge can trigger an investigation."

"That happened here. It's referred to by the media as 'Bridgegate' and people have been indicted." They found Josh near another pair of Stormtroopers who were giving another passenger a hard time.

"Josh, leave the passengers alone." Michael said.

"Is this disrespectful little runt yours?" The man asked.

"Sergeant, how many nasty names has he caled my son and what led to this?"

"Man nearly ran the kid over running to the checkpoint. Josh told him to slow down and it led to him calling Josh a brat, a punk, a bastard, and as you heard a runt. His flight leaves in ten minutes."

"He's an ungrateful child too." That did it for Michael.

"Sergeant, give him a Level 2 Enhanced Screening. I think you're gonna have to rebook that flight." The Stormtroopers led the man away. Laurie looked at her brother and nephew.

"He ran, pushed, and talked his way into being strip-searched with a cavity search on the side and a huge rebooking fee for kicks." Josh explained.

"I take it this is a hobby for him."

"The Empire does not need him to help Stormtroopers find people at airports and spaceports to pull aside for cavity searches. He saw the papers on this."

* * *

 **JANUARY 2017**

The holiday season went off without too many problems. Laurie's return to Haddonfield was slightly delayed because Josh got into an arguement with someone at the airport while carrying Laurie's luggage to the security checkpoint. That resulted in Josh being called an ungrateful, spoiled brat and the nasty-tempered man receiving a flight missing secondary screening at the hands of the Stormtroopers who came over after the man threatened to hit Josh and stuff him into luggage. Josh later told this story to Lucy Felth.

"You are nuts." Was all Lucy could say.

"Maybe I am, but being nuts runs in my family."

"That was meant to be an insult."

"Insults are what most of the comments from the audience on Springer turn out to be. Except for the people who ask for beads."

"You really watch that garbage?"

"Compared to some of the things I've seen at my age. Springer is on the same level as the WWE." Kelly joined them.

"Lucy, we have to go shopping for dress shoes so you look nice for your 13th birthday party."

"Mom, it's 16 that you go crazy for."

"I've got time then. For 13 you get the $3 special at one of those dollar pizza places or the $4 special from Wendy's and add a Frosty. What did I say?" Lucy at Kelly's prompting gave Josh a head-slap.

"I actually enjoyed that."

"I'm speaking from experience you know." Josh had joined the two at the shoe store since he had nothing better to do. Much to Josh's bewilderment, Lucy ended up arguing with a heavyset girl who was acting very bratty.

"I want pink." The girl demanded and bounced the rejected shoe off of the young salesman's head.

"Those are pink." Lucy said.

"Who asked you?" The girl's equally heavyset mother shouted between bites of chocolate despite a no eating or drinking sign.

"Your kid did when she committed a battery with a shoe." Kelly said and flashed her badge.

"On the other hand, sending a spoiled brat someplace where her access to food is controlled might cause her to lose about a thousand pounds that she could stand to lose." Josh added.

"Come, Bethany. Let's go someplace where they treat us with respect." The girl's mother said.

"Why don't you try Nal Hutta, you two would be right at home with the Hutts." Josh shot back as the two stormed out of the store setting off a car alarm in their wake.

"What is a Hutt?" The salesman asked.

"A giant slug with a nasty attitude." Josh replied causing the salesman whose name tag read Landon to laugh.

"This place seems to attract a llot of them then." As if on cue, a taxi stopped outside the store and another heavyset woman stepped out.

"That cab just jumped like a foot off the ground." Josh noted as the woman entered.

"I want my money back. These shoes you sold me are as useless to me as hair gel is to you. I wore them once and they split at the sides causing me to have to walk home in bare feet stepping in a puddle of who knows what on the sidewalk."

"There's no returns without a receipt." Landon replied.

"You also voided the warranty when you exceeded the two ton weight limit on those shoes. By the way, the Crown Victoria has a one ton wieght limit. So you've managed to destroy a pair of shoes and a taxi." Josh added.

"Now if I were to superglue the soles to your feet, would that help?" Landon asked. The woman huffed.

"You'll be hearing from my attorney."

"Which lawyer would that be? Haagen or Dazs?" The woman stormed out.

"I could get fired for that except my grandfather owns the store."

"You meet requirement number one in The Empire. No verbal filter for political correctness. The papers are full of people who are offended by his dad on a daily basis. Now are we going to fit my daughter for dress shoes or make fun of fat women all day?" Kelly said.

"Right, we can skip the measuring part by seeing what size her sneakers are. That saves time and I can get out of here before another elephant comes in. Any style preference?"

"Flats will do. Basic Black. I am not wearing heels." Lucy said and kicked off one of her sneakers before Kelly or Josh could speak. Landon returned with a box.

"Those work. I'm not a picky walrus for shoes that are probably going to be worn once a year if that."

"Fine, Josh we're going." Kelly paid for the shoes and the four started to leave as another obese woman came in.

"Aren't you open?" She asked Landon.

"Sorry ma'am, but unlike Duane Reade we occasionally close."

"I want my money back, these shoes fell apart after one day and I wanna know why." She handed Landon a pair of shoes that were clearly damaged.

"Well you see ma'am, this is a pliant heel with a cork filling and as stated no returns without a receipt."

"While you are a giant seal with a pork filling who voided the warranty by exceeding the two-ton weight limit on those shoes." Josh added.

"You haven't heard the last of this, what goes around comes around."

"Well considering your orbit, the fleet of Star Destroyers up there might label you as a dangerous piece of space debris that could cause problems for the planet or other spacecraft and blast you. They nailed a Russian spy satellite last week so they're getting good at nailing small objects for a distance." Josh said as the woman stormed out. The four began laughing and left the store.

* * *

Fat jokes were inspired by Al Bundy, just modified for use in a Star Wars setting.


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing except a few characters and the plot.**

 **I thought it might be interesting to write a story centered on Michael's now teenaged son Josh who has been mentioned or appeared a couple of times in some of my other fics.**

 **I'm planning to spin the arrival of Baby Skywalker off into a separate story which (hopefully) will be written before the next chapter of this story.**

 **TROOPS: NEW YORK**

 **The Son of Michael Myers**

* * *

 **NEW YORK, NEW YORK**

 **FEBRUARY, 2017**

Josh made his usual after-school trip to the office where Anakin and Obi-Wan watched over his Jedi training. Josh told Radar to let Anakin know he was there and would be in Tevin's office. He found Tevin working on an e-mail to someone about something and to his surprise, the three Felth children in the office.

"Why are they here?" Josh asked.

"Various reasons." Tevin said.

"Now that dad has his own office, we can stay in here. My homework is done by the way." Lucy said as Josh sat down next to her.

"Not that I'm going to use some of this in the future." Chris Felth added from the floor.

"I have two letters to describe your future with that attitude about your schoolwork. K and P. To help you get started with that career choice, you're spending the weekend helping Klinger peel potatoes because you're still on punishment for pouring ice down Justin's back."

"That was a week ago."

"You were still on punishment for three weeks ago when your told your teacher the President of the United States said she was a witch and that she belonged in jail waiting to be burned at the stake for practicing witchcraft." Josh raised an eyebrow.

"His teacher's name is Clinton. No relation to those Clintons, not that it stopped him from saying it or tagging the President in it when he posted it on Twitter somehow."

"I had Mr. Cardova at that grade. Somehow he managed to have enough books for everyone." Lucy added,

"Same here. You got him after someone told the Department of Education that disappearing government funds is grounds to open an investigation and a Grand Jury." Josh said.

"UPS doesn't ship kids and I wouldn't send anything live via Ground." Lucy said causing Tevin to look up.

"Chris, that's another week with no video games." Josh removed the UPS labels from Justin's shirt.

"You were going to send him by Ground to California?"

"Something his size has to be shipped as Freight and Ground is cheaper then Air." Chris explained.

"Didn't I say you could torment 3PO since everyone else does?" Tevin asked.

"Mom grounded him after 3PO fell in a ConEd ditch chasing him." Justin said as the phone rang.

"He's here. I'll tell him." Tevin looked at Josh.

"Anakin's waiting for you in the gym. Chris, put my stapler back."

* * *

"You've been distracted." Josh told Anakin.

"Padme sent me to Walgreens last night for mint chocolate chip ice cream and hot salsa. I had to explain to Mr. Chang at the Chinese place that this will be over soon after he called to complain that Padme ordered too much food and it was slowing his kitchen down. He told me that Sylvia liked to order food by the truckload."

"Somehow she was able to smell food cooked by people she knew from miles away. The only thing she wouldn't eat was Tevin's chili." Anakin snickered.

"I think I need to give Padme some of that."

"I wouldn't. Unless you want a repeat of Mustafar." Obi-Wan said as he entered the gym.

"Of course she could always have a craving for it." Josh chimed in. This caused Anakin to laugh and Obi-Wan to facepalm. The day's lessons consisted of Josh learning how to control The Force in the face of distractions provided by various people and droids most of which was provided by Anakin and Obi-Wan arguing. Among the many outside distractions was Corporal Klinger with a forged letter about a false family crisis.

"I need a Jedi to sign off on this death in the family discharge request."

"General Felth has a whole file filled with your phony discharge ploys and I do believe you have run out of relatives that are near death." Obi-Wan said.

"Give me ten minutes and I'll come back with a pregnant relative."

"Out Klinger. Before you're the victim of a Force-related accident." The next unplanned distraction was Landon who arrived after Anakin and Obi-Wan began arguing the finer points of their duel on Mustafar.

"How did you get in here?" Josh asked.

"No one watching any reception areas. What's with the guy in the dress?"

"Klinger. Trying to get out of the Empire on a psycho despite the fact that cross-dressing is accepted by most people these days."

"Or a rubbish family crisis. Ow, Anakin!" Obi-Wan added as Anakin whacked him with one of the sticks they used for duel practice.

"Talk about being distracted. I technically just cut your arm off. You are unwise to lower your defenses." Anakin said with a grin.

"You guys know I have a shoe store that does very little business."

"Except for when a fat woman bulldozes her way in there demanding shoes that are two sizes too small, shoes that are a certain shade of some color, or a refund for shoes that broke as a result of her exceeding the two-ton weight limit and without a receipt. Although that's probably a better scam to run on some store that sells high-priced goods." Josh said as Anakin snickered. Landon crackked up and then remembered the story he wanted to tell Josh.

"Speaking of which, a fat woman stampeded her way into the store today and argued measurements with me while her bratty kid wrecked the place." Josh used The Force to probe Landon's memory of the event.

 _"I don't care what your ruler says, I've been a five since I graduated from college." The woman said to Landon who was using a ruler to measure her foot._

 _"Well, these *are* fives. The box says eight because, lady, you're an eight. I can accept it; why can't you? It's not gonna cost you any more to have a shoe that fits. When your feet are the size of Staten Island Ferry boats, then you have a problem." Landon explained._

 _"You're very fresh!"_

 _"That's impossible. Because for the past 30 minutes, I've been trying to squeeze your foot into a shoe that's three sizes too small because you can't cope with the size of your feet and think smaller shoes are cheaper. So, no, I'd say I'm anything but fresh. By the way, you want to tell your little brat over there to give the two hundred dollar pumps a rest and go bang on some knock-offs from Canal Street."_

 _"Your sign says *courteous* service."_

 _"It also says we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone or anything for any reason including bratty children who damage merchandise and ungrateful whales who think saving $10 on a pair of shoes is worth the eventual trip to the Emergency Room to have shoes that are too small for their fat feet surgically removed and the thousands of dollars worth of bills that go with any trip to the hospital because your insurance won't pay for it." The woman huffed and began putting her old shoes on._

 _"Come on, Wesley. We're leaving. You'll be hearing from my lawyers."_

 _"Would that be the Breyers Law Firm?"_

 _"I want a balloon." The boy said as his mother bent over to get her purse._

 _"You've already got one." Landon said as the woman huffed again and stormed out._

"Joshua, The Force is not to be used for your own personal entertainment." Obi-Wan said as Anakin completely lost it and burst into laughter.

"What part of the Code was that in? Probably one of the parts that I completely ignored or violated to the point that Luke removed it from his version of it."

"What you ignored and or violated was basically the entire thing." Obi-Wan replied as Josh turned to Landon.

"These two will argue for hours about the Jedi Code. Hungry?"

"Sure. What do you have?"

"See what's being given to the other three kids in the building." Josh grabbed his jacket and led Landon out of the gym.

"Wait, Lucy's here?"

"Along with her two brothers." Josh said as they ran into Lucy in a hallway.

"What are you doing here? Did a fat woman finally wreck your store or are you planning to enlist?" Lucy asked Landon.

"Her bratty kid did at which point I informed of the We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Anyone Policy and called her a whale." Josh busted out laughing.

"You're so gonna get sued."

"I'm sixteen and my grandfather who called someone who wanted flip-flops last week a rhino and told someone else who said they were taking their business elsewhere to try Weight Watchers actually owns the store."

"I am on my way to Wong's for barbeque ribs. Make a joke out of that one." Lucy said.

"Actually, we were on our way to find out what Tevin was getting you and your brothers for dinner. Chinese sounds nice, provided Senator Skywalker hasn't jammed up Mr. Wong's kitchen." Josh said.

"She's pregnant and in the cravings stage." Lucy said as Landon opened his mouth.

"I was not going to make fun of her weight. I was going to say, there are other Chinese places in the area. We are near Chinatown and Josh already made fun of your Senator who I didn't even know was pregnant." Lucy slipped her arms around both boys' backs and then proceeded to give them both a head-slap as they headed for the elevators.

* * *

 **MARCH, 2017**

Josh had visited the shoe store looking for Landon and found an older man sitting on the stool trying to fit a shoe onto a heavyset woman. A can of WD-40 was on the floor near them. After much effort, he finally got the shoe on the woman's foot.

"See? I told you I was a four." The woman said.

"No, ma'am. "Fore" is what you'll have to yell when the shoe pops off your foot. Are we finished here?" The man who Josh was now assuming was Landon's grandfather asked.

"Well, I'm not sure I like this shade of blue." At this moment, Josh chimed in.

"I'll tell you what I'll do, then. I'll get some samples of shades of blue from Home Depot that you can look over while stuffing your face at your favorite buffet. When you find the right shade of blue, you came back and your shoes will be ready in about 4 to 6 weeks." The woman huffed at Josh.

"It's either that or we stand you in front of a mirror. Where I will begin strangling you. When you reach the shade of blue that is satisfactory to you, you yell "moo" or "oink" and I'll stop to take a picture of it." Landon's grandfather added. The woman put her old shoe back on and got up.

"That's it! I'm taking my business elsewhere."

"This block also contains a Jenny Craig, a chinese place, a pizza place, and a gym. And make sure you wash the WD-40 off you foot so your shoe doesn't go flying off your foot and smash through someone's windshield." Josh said as the woman stormed out. Landon's grandfather looked up at Josh.

"You must be Josh. Landon told me about you. He said you insult fat women worse then the President of the United States does. I'd shake your hand, but WD-40."

"That's okay. I was eating cheap pizza earlier." At that moment, Landon appeared.

"Sorry I'm late. Subway delays probably caused by fat women getting stuck in the turnstiles somewhere on the J." After the handing over of the keys to the store, Landon and Josh were left alone until a woman came in wearing a very ugly dress.

"I need some shoes that go with this dress." She said to Landon.

"This is a shoe store not a store that sells witchcraft stuff. Most of which would have to be ordered online anyway."

"How dare you. You'll be hearing from the Better Business Bureau." The woman turned and stormed out. Josh and Landon cracked up and then busted out laughing. Another hour passed with the two boys deciding to throw shoes at a photo Landon pinned to the wall of a loudmouthed, fat woman named Rosie.

"Hungry?" Asked Landon.

"Always." Replied Josh.

"I'm calling it a day. No one's coming in at this hour." As the two boys gathered their things and got ready to leave, a fat woman came in with an angry look on here face.

"Where's your grandfather? I want my money back. He sold me these shoes the other day and they fell apart earlier today."

"That probably had something to do with the two-ton weight limit on them. He'll be here tomorrow when the store opens."

"I'll be back and I'll tell him what a fresh mouth you are."

"He already knows." Landon said as the woman left. Josh immediately felt some form of tension in the air at the store and looked at Landon.

"How would you feel about me if I told you I was gay?" Landon finally asked.

"It's cool. I know a couple of gay people already and they do not fit the stereotype of gay people."

"The guy in the dress?" Josh let a giggle out. He had to let Tevin know that Klinger had to stop wearing dresses because civilians were convinced he was gay as opposed to seeking a mentally unfit for service discharge.

"Colonel Pratchard. He led Blizzard Force into Downtown Beirut and from what I heard kicked some major terrorist butt. The other two I know worked for my dad back when we lived in Illinois. Does your grandfather know?" Landon put his arm around Josh and smiled.

"He knows. He blames it on the fat women who come in here with nasty attitudes and our next-door neighbor looking like a chicken. I just wanted to know how you felt about it."

"I really don't blame you after seeing what comes in here on a daily basis." The two teenagers laughed again before Landon cupped Josh's chin with his free hand and gave him a deep, passionate kiss on the lips. After about a minute, the two teens parted.

"Wow. That was amazing." Josh said as he licked his lips. Landon just smiled and led Josh out of the store and locked up.

"So, no problems with your family and this whole thing?" Landon asked.

"Like I said, they were accepting of three others. They have weird senses of humor and somehow I think my dad may already know or suspect. He'll blame it on Klinger if he does get upset which I doubt given how screwed up the history is." Landon put his arm around Josh and smiled as they walked towards the subway.

* * *

The fat jokes were inspired by Al Bundy and are more or less a case of "Early Installment Weirdness" on the part of Landon's character.


End file.
